I "L" therefore I am

It has been a life long goal of mine to make myself a household name.
Since missing my calling as a discovered-overnight-celebrity these are the things that occupy my everyday thoughts.

First and foremost-how in the world do you work with a name that is constantly mispronounced? My skin literally crawls when I hear that pitch or that drawn out "eeeeeeee" of a sound. Since it would be expensive to change the spelling AND hold classes on how to pronounce LeyAAAAAH perhaps a slight shortening of the name would suffice.

L.

Not to be confused with "el", taking the "L", or even reading Elle.

Just L.



Just kind of rolls of your tongue really. Half the battle behind me with the personalization of my name, I suppose I just need to integrate it into everyday conversation. Don't you have to be known for something, really excel at something, have some amazing trait in order to really make it work?

My brother didn't shout like a lunatic from across the driveway "Hey watch my JORDAN" and do nothing. Years of skinned knees, slams into the garage door, and prayers of growing taller and leaner, and meaner only implies an obsession with being The King of basketball.

My sister didn't just wake up one day and wear a thousand bracelets, get a really bad perm, wear ripped clothes and Jelly Shoes. On the contrary. This was part of the master plan to be oohed and aahed by her friends who said she was "soooo MADONNA".

Possibly a better way of approaching this dilemma would be to see what I am really good at in life. What in the world can I do better than anyone in the whole wide world?

Racquetball?
Word Games?
Shopping?

A second place racquetball athlete hardly gets a notice unless it was used in a negative tone. Taunts and jeers would be heard from the stands. "You so L-d that game!~
"Nice #2 status...you are soo L!"

I don't know that anyone ever made the front page for word games-although if they did I would be surely a repeat offender on Scramble Times. "The Word is L" would headline the front pages. Followers all around would clamor: "Oh you are so "L" with that crossword!" or "Wow you really L'd that Scramble game!"

I don't know if anyone has ever been known for shopping. Sure, everyone has their vices. The Brangelina duo shops for exotic children, Imelda Marcos boasted 5,600 pairs of shoes and Perez Hilton shops for gossip to fill his blogs. But I mean really shop.
Lots of hours need to logged, no sale or hidden treasure to be missed. When you come back from shopping your significant other should say:
"I can't believe you "L-d" all day long. Don't you know that we are not "L" Millionaires?.

Really shop.

I have achieved Shopper's Highs more times than I can count. In search of that perfect outfit or item that no one has or would think to put together is only part of the game. The other part is overcoming and winning over the purchases. When need be I even talk dirty to my clothes (although I would deny this charge in mixed company). When I find that perfect purchase it's almost a foreplay game. "I am going to buy the shit out of you Mister" "When I get you home I'm gonnna....". This proves more of an award, more feeling of satisfaction and a job well done. Without the feeling of satisfaction it hardly seems worth the escort out of the store for talking dirty to the purchase. A good game of cat-and-mouse can only be had if there is a chase, a winner, a triumph over all...or in this case a triumph for "L".

I suppose making myself into a household name is a bit vain--maybe even borderline psychotic but it seems the only thing to keep me going; trying to market myself in a recession.

The above should be an indication of why childhood dreams should not be forgotten. We age but we don't stop dreaming. Our dreams may change as we mature but who is to say that my brother couldn't be the next Jordan or my sister the next Madonna?
Without these childhood dreams ruling our pastimes what exactly would we have left?

Work?
Bills?
Recession?
Getting Older?
Forgeting our dreams?

Go ahead and get back to your work.
I will continue on in my quest for all things happy.
My L-ness is what made me who I am today and will continue to shape me for years to come. For those who want to judge--well you can all just go to L.

xoxo